Wisdom from Sal

Men – you need help!

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By Sal Arrigo, Jr.

 

As men, we believe we can take on anything that comes our way: family issues, fixing the car, mowing the lawn. But, can we handle caring for our own mental health needs? This is areminder to my fellow brethren that we’re not as tough as we think we are, and we need to be aware that men can experience mild to very serious mental health conditions that need to be addressed.

 

It’s not unheard of for men to disregard warning signs of physical illness, often with disastrous consequences. Admitting that they are not immortal, or Superman, is tough. When it comes to admitting to and seeking out help with mental health, that’s an even bigger issue for many men to process.

 

My friend Jared talks with a counselor on a regular basis. He told me, “I want the societal stigma that men should be self-reliant and stoic to change. One of the ways we can change this is by encouraging men to seek help for their mental health today, paving the way for future generations of men to live healthier, more fulfilling lives. I want my son to feel more supported in his own mental health journey than I have felt, and I want that pattern to continue for his children and their children.”

 

Countless studies have shown that men who do not seek help for mental health issues are prone to become aggressive, turn to alcohol or drugs, and lose their appetite. Acknowledging their mental health struggle is avoided because of the perception that “real men” handle their own problems and no one needs to know their business; to talk about such things openly would make them feel that they’ll be seen as weak and vulnerable. Men tend to be given a pass on anger, aggression, and poor communication because the cultural norm for men is to be tough and indifferent to their emotional needs. However, the avoidance of counseling only makes these mental health issues worse, negatively affecting the individual’s quality of life as well as those around them. We all know people who ignored their mental health challenges and did lasting damage to their family relationships. It doesn’t have to be that way—but waiting is not an option.

 

There is absolutely no shame in men to seeking counseling help, just as Jared stated. It’sunfortunate that our society places a stigma around this, as it is doing harm to men’s lives and to the lives of their loved ones. Asking for help is actually one of the bravest, most courageous things anyone can do.

 

Taking the first step is hard, but living with untreated mental health issues is harder, and unlikely to get better without help. If you feel uncomfortable at first talking face-to-face with a counselor, there are resources available on the Internet. This may help you to get going and acknowledge the need for mental health assistance. Hopefully, it will ultimately lead to finding a counselor in your hometown.

 

So, gentlemen, what are you waiting for?